🐌 Snail Mail Speed Calculator

Would a real snail beat the mail? Enter a distance, choose a postal time and a snail speed, and we’ll compare. Private by design—everything runs in your browser.

Your Inputs

Between sender & recipient (roughly).
Rough ballparks—enter custom days if you know them.
Moves about 25% of each day (rests the rest)
Just-for-fun estimates. Not a shipping guarantee!

Results

Snail time days
Postal time days
Winner
Assumes constant surface speed × movement fraction each day.
  • Snail effective speed:
  • Mail effective speed:
  • Snail speed needed to match mail:

How the calculator works (friendly math)

We estimate how long a snail would take to traverse the distance, then compare to a postal delivery time.

snail_effective_speed = (mm_per_second ÷ 1000) × (duty_cycle_fraction)
snail_time_days       = distance_meters ÷ snail_effective_speed ÷ 86,400

mail_time_days        = from preset or your custom value
mail_effective_speed  = distance_meters ÷ (mail_time_days × 86,400)

Snails move faster on smooth, moist surfaces and slower on rough, dry ones. They also stop often—use the “movement per day” slider to reflect that.

Snail mail is also a slang for an e-mail, when sending a text or an SMS is faster.

Be kind to real snails 💛

  • Please don’t stage real races or mail animals. This is a lighthearted math toy.
  • Return any found snails to a safe, shady spot.

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